1. My uncle once got my mother to smile for a picture by yelling, "Let's all say S#!T, because your mother can't say S#!T!"
2. Never in my life will I take sleep for granted again.
3. When I was five I refused to wear trousers, and only wanted to wear skirts.
4. High school was much less dramatic than I thought at the time.
5. I will never forget the moment my son was born.
6. Once I met a grad student who seemed like the kind of person I'd like to have as a friend. When she turned psycho on me, I learned not to trust my first impressions.
7. There’s this boy I know who decided to go against the grain of his other siblings and start the career he truly wanted. And he's my little brother.
8. Once, at a bar, my friend and I decided to assume different identities for the evening, and be mean to boys when they hit on us. It worked.
9. By noon, tomorrow, I'll have spent a lot of money.
10. Last night I stayed up late to watch Tabatha's Salon Takeover on Bravo.
11. If only I had more maternity leave, I'd be thrilled.
12. Next time I go to church I hope the baby will cooperate.
13. What worries me most is making it through the next few years, until we can move back home.
14. When I turn my head left I'm happy that the weather is good, and I think I should take the baby for a walk after his next feeding.
15. When I turn my head right I wish I could reach the remote and change the channel.
16. You know I’m lying when I say I'm looking forward to going back to work.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is the music.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be thoroughly confused, since I don't know who any of them are.
19. By this time next year I hope to have finished at least four knitting projects, but I'm not optimistic.
20. A better name for me would be Sleepy McTiredsons.
21. I have a hard time understanding some people's priorities.
22. If I ever go back to school hell will freeze over.
23. You know I like you if I email you lots.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be my Hubby.
25. Take my advice, never take the I-95 that leads to NYC if you can avoid it.
26. My ideal breakfast is pancakes.
27. A song I love but do not have is Apologize, by Timbaland and One Republic.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you take lots of pictures. It's beautiful!
29. Why won’t people be more courteous on the sidewalk, particularly to pregnant women and people with babies in strollers?
30. If you spend a night at my house you'll have to stay on the futon, but we'll cook you a gourmet meal!
31. I’d stop my wedding for no amount of money in the world.
32. The world could do without high gas prices.
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than think about booking plane tickets right now.
34. My favorite blonde is my best friend, A.
35. Paper clips are more useful than staples.
36. If I do anything well it’s procrastinate.
37. I can’t help but wish I wasn't living so far away from home.
38. I usually cry when I’m upset or angry.
39. My advice to my nephew/niece is to enjoy the ride.
40. And by the way, if you feel like babysitting, give me a call!